I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
