Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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