Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
