I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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