I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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