My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
