No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
