I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
