your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
