can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
