he shaved USA in his pubs
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
