Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just took my morning after pill in the library
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just found a bag of teeth...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
