And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
