do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
