Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
