the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
well you can't waste a boner
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
