You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
