girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
