wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
