She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
