i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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