today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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