Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
