I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
