You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
