I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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