walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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