We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
