i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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