Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
