I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
