For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
