I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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