I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
