is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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