Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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