when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
