Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
