Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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