She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
