We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
