is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
