Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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