the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Randomize
