I just made out with a guy for $7.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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