Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
