We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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