you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
