Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
