I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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