It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
