Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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