My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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