This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
