I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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