I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
