I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
